Let's Not Be Friends
by MutedTone
Summary: After the war, Shiho struggles to forget a certain silverhaired Coordinator. But one phone call will test the limits of her mind and heart.
1. Weltschmerz

Let's Not Be Friends

Started: December 2006

Shiho let out a sigh of relief once she glimpsed the door of the room she shared with one of the other "Reds", a girl named Maxine Weber. She'd been dying to return to her quarters ever since she watched the news coverage of ZAFT Commander Lacus Clyne's visits to one of the Junius colonies. It was probably still airing on the large screens in the soldiers' lounge.

Many of the PLANTs' representatives had accompanied the Commander, including council member Major Yzak Joule. Shiho knew how gratifying it was for him to be surrounded by cameras and visible on every news channel. Yzak basked in attention; sometimes he seemed to crave it. But he did deserve the limelight. He had been an ace ZAFT pilot, and a good squad leader.

She wanted to feel happy as she watched him on the news. At the same time, she couldn't get out of the lounge fast enough so she wouldn't see his face.

But it was too late; the questions she hated started reeling through her mind, questions like _why can't I stop thinking about him?_ or _why couldn't I make him see me even when I was right beside him?_ or _why am I even asking useless questions like that when my time with him is already over?_

Her mind went back to the day she and her squad mates were assigned to new posts. They had all stood in file as the Major addressed them, thanking them for their dedication, congratulating them on their new assignments, and reminding them to be vigilant in keeping the peace. After their dismissal and salute, Dearka had dared to crack a joke, receiving snickers from several directions. She, as was her habit, said nothing, and left right away to pack her things. After all, what was left to say? And what was she hoping to hear from Major Yzak Joule anyway? Something heartfelt and sentimental?

After that, he didn't keep in touch her, and she didn't try to contact him. But many, many times, she had wanted to.

_But that was then. _She stepped quietly into the room.

"What's wrong, _mein_ _Liebe_? You look like someone died." Maxine looked up at her from the book she was reading. Her brown eyes were filled with concern.

"It's nothing," Shiho replied, kissing her on the mouth. Two females having "that kind" of relationship was nothing new in the ZAFT ranks. With male and female soldiers staying in segregated sleeping quarters for long periods of time, it was no surprise that one's bunkmate became one's bedmate as well. "I'm taking a shower."

"All right then." Maxine shrugged and returned to her reading.

As the warm water rained on her, Shiho's thoughts returned to what she had watched. Well, Yzak's hair seemed longer, a little softer. And his eyes seemed a bit slanted, like he had matured all of a sudden. _He'll be very busy with council work from now on, with treaties to sign and factions to pacify. And the Joule Squad's members have all been reassigned…and I won't be able to hover near his side like before._

Like the way Yzak had hovered by the Commander's seat during that news clip…. Shiho suddenly laughed. _Oh, are you jealous of Lacus Clyne now, Fraulein Hahnenfuß?_ Everyone knew that the former pop star was in a relationship with that renegade of a Gundam pilot, Kira Yamato. But still, Shiho couldn't help but wonder if even Yzak Joule could withstand the singer's charms.

_Well, whatever happens to him from now on has nothing to do with me! _She rested her forehead on the cold tiled wall. _I won't be near him anymore, hear his voice, catch one of his rare smiles, see how peaceful he looks when he falls asleep in his chair. _She sighed in disappointment. _To him, I was just a reliable squad member, or a friend at best. But nothing more than that. Otherwise he would have made it obvious a long time ago. Yes, he assisted me with research on my DEEP ARMS, named me Housenka, and picked me to be on his team. But so what?_

Shiho stepped out of the shower and looked at her reflection in the mirror. She almost didn't recognize her face; all the usual self-confidence had gone out of it.

"So, what now?" she asked out loud.

* * *

"You're suggesting that I WHAT?" Yzak yelled, making everyone else in the room shake in their shoes. 

One of his assistants gulped. "We-we-well, Councilor, the upcoming fundraising would be a good publicity opportunity-"

"I KNOW THAT! But why the hell do I have to bring a girl with me?"

Yzak's staff cringed some more. "To-to-to project the image of being more, uh, grounded and approachable."

The blue-eyed young Councilor huffed. "I'd rather be known as someone who meant business." For crying out loud, these people were supposed to be his public relations team! Idiots, all of them!

"Begging your pardon, sir, but we believe that it is necessary to do this, if you want to gain the support of the masses."

Now that struck Yzak's nerve. Hesitantly he opened the folder that lay on his desk, and raised eyebrows at the beautiful faces that smiled at him from the pages. There were singers, politician's daughters, and young businesswomen. "Somehow I feel like I'm hiring a mistress, but fine, I'll go along with you."

The whole room filled with sighs of relief.

Yzak smirked. "And if this doesn't work like you say it will, you're all fired."

* * *

Shiho climbed out from the cockpit of her beloved CGUE after a routine scan. She'd been assigned a ZAKU Warrior suit prior to the last war, but she still preferred her experimental Deep Arms. She knew it would be decommissioned soon, and would have to be returned to the research facility, so she used it every chance she had. 

She'd felt restless after her shower and couldn't sleep, so she had gone to the hangar to check on her mobile suits. At least she could be alone there with her thoughts. It felt quite warm too, even though she was wearing just the regular ZAFT uniform. Pushing off with her feet, she floated through the hangar, allowing the weak gravity to carry her to a ledge near a huge window. There were so many stars in the vast darkness beyond the glass, and that made her feel sentimental.

Doing maintenance work on her suits had triggered her memories of a silver-haired, blue-eyed ZAFT officer. _Not again_, she thought, her cheeks growing warm. _Why do I miss everything about him, even that haughty expression on his face, and that commanding voice?_ The brunette pilot shook her head. _How weak! All I have to do is think of a certain Yzak Joule, then I break into pieces!

* * *

_

"_Sergeant Shiho Hahnenfuß, coming in-Gott in Himmel!"_ _She ducked just in time for the piece of fruit to miss her forehead._

"_DIDN'T I TELL YOU I DIDN'T WANT VISITORS!" roared the quick-tempered patient, blue sparks of anger flashing from his unbandaged eye._

"_I'm sorry sir!" Shiho cringed on the floor. "The nurse said it was all right, and I was permitted only six hours' leave from simulation training, and everyone asked me to bring you their gifts. But I could come back at a later time and-"_

"_As you're already here, Sergeant, I'm not going to waste your time." Yzak sat up straight in bed. "Gifts, huh?"_

"_Yes sir." Judging that he was now safe to approach, Shiho did her best to stop shaking and brought the large paper bag to Yzak's bedside. "From the other Reds, some of the Versailles crew, and the mess hall cook. He told me to reassure you that the biscuits are indeed edible."_

_One blue eye inspected the cards, boxes, and other items in the bag, yet the injured Duel pilot said nothing._

_Feeling uneasy, Shiho carefully said, "I'll return to the training hall now, sir." She stepped back and saluted._

"_Do they really wish me well? Or are they glad that I'm hurt?" he asked suddenly, not looking at her._

_Shiho's arm dropped in surprise. Was Officer Joule, terror of the Versailles, actually looking SAD?_

_And what was she supposed to say?_

_After an awkward pause, she found her voice. "I daresay, sir, that in this time when ZAFT needs all of its members, we would not enjoy seeing one of our own hurt."_

_Yzak looked straight at her with his one good eye. "That sounded a little didactic, Sergeant, but thanks."

* * *

_

"_The weapons test went well," Yzak Joule announced as he entered the hangar. A happy murmur spread through the research group. Then he turned to her. "Thank you for your efforts, Sergeant Hahnenfuß."_

_She shook her head. "I was happy to help with the testing, sir."_

"_Although," he mused, looking up at the dark blue CGUE prototype, "I never thought about using the combat style you did, making the beams fan out. It was like a balsam flower."_

"_Balsam…you refer to the housenka, sir?"_

_He nodded. "That's it. Housenka."

* * *

_

_She jumped down from the Deep Arms, fully satisfied with the adjustments she'd made to the shoulder cannons. She looked up proudly at her mobile suit, its metal plating scratched in some areas, the scars from a recent battle._

"_Sergeant Hahnenfuß," a rather irritated male voice interrupted behind her. "You were supposed to be in a meeting an hour ago."_

_Shiho bowed as low as she could to the silver-haired officer. "My apologies, sir, but my mobile suit needed some adj-"_

"_APOLOGIES?!" Yzak cut in, making her and some of the nearby technicians jump. "Sergeant, need I remind you that we're in the middle of a war here? There are reports of a possible nuclear attack by the Naturals! Receiving your orders and the latest tactical information are a top priority, tinkering with your mobile suit is NOT!" Again the nearby technicians jumped._

"_It won't happen again, sir." She tried not to look too shaken._

"_Make sure it doesn't." Yzak rubbed at his scar and looked up at the Deep Arms. "Housenka, huh? You know, you've been attacked more often since you put that personal mark on."_

"_It only pushes me to improve, sir." Shiho looked at the mark of bright red flowers and felt the familiar feeling of accomplishment. "Improve myself and my mobile suit."_

"_Sergeant, you sound like a proud mother." Yzak cleared his throat and changed to a sterner tone. "Even so, don't forget that you have other responsibilities as well. Go borrow the meeting notes from the commander's secretary, all right?"_

"_Yes sir."_

"_And as punishment for skipping the meeting, submit a report to the commander, detailing all the latest improvements that you've made to the Deep Arms."_

"_Yes sir."

* * *

_

_I've often been on the receiving end of his temper_. Shiho smiled as she leaned against the glass. _But given the chance, I would gladly take his stinging words again and again, just to be near him. Even though I know it would do me no good. After surviving the most rigorous physical training and the most mind-numbing exams to be at the top of my class, this is the sort of fool I've turned out to be._

She closed her eyes. _It's a good thing I won't see him so much anymore. If I keep going like this, I'll be totally useless in a space battle._ She turned to look at her Deep Arms, its intense blue color standing out against the gray of the hangar. _I should forget about him and focus on my patrol duties. After all, he's forgotten me so quickly._

"That's right," she said, as though talking to an abandoned child. "It's just the two of us now."

* * *

"Shiho, wake up. _Mein Gott_, have you been sleeping here the whole time?"

A warm palm was cupping her cheek. Her eyes, still hazy from sleep, met with Maxine's brown ones. "…Hmmm?"

"What HAVE you been doing here? I've been looking all over for you! And you missed the officers' meeting. And your mobile phone's been ringing nonstop…. Hey Shiho, have you been crying? Your eyes are swollen."

Shiho smiled sleepily. Maxine was great to have around. She spoke too much, to make up for people who seemed to say too little. "I guess I'm not feeling so well." She pushed off from the ledge. "I'll just go back to our room. I'll deal with the missed meeting later."

Maxine stared after her in surprise. "If you're not feeling well, you should go to the infirmary, like you usually do."

The purple-eyed pilot turned to face her. "So did you get any new orders yet?"

"Well, no. And I checked the roster, you're not getting sortied yet either-hey what is it?" Shiho was tugging on her arm.

"Then let's go back to the room together, _mein_ _Liebe_. And you can help me feel better."

"Really, Shiho, you're so strange sometimes."

* * *

In the darkness, she shifted in the warm bed that was not hers, and stared at Maxine's smooth back. Her soft curls of hair spilled over the pillow as she slept quietly. _I should feel guilty about making her my personal physical security blanket_, Shiho thought. _But still, I'm glad that every time I need her, she never pushes me away. She's just like me, I guess. Willing to be used and taken lightly by the people we care about. Willing to be turned into fools who hope for more. I wonder, are all women like that?_

The shrill ring of her mobile phone broke Shiho's train of thought. She shivered as the cold air of the room hit her skin and she hurriedly leapt onto her own bed, threw the covers over her shoulders, and grabbed the flashing, noisy object. The display showed an unfamiliar "inter-PLANT" number. She pressed the answer button and solemnly said, "You have reached Captain Shiho Hahnenfuß."

"You're still spare with words, Shiho," said a voice that she had not hoped to hear.

She felt a blush starting. "M-Major…I mean Councilor…."

"Stop being so formal and call me Yzak. It's not like you don't know me."

_No, I don't think I do_, she wanted to say. "I'm sorry. I didn't expect to hear from you-" She stopped herself before she could blurt out _ever again_.

"It's a little sudden, I know, but I need a favor from you. Consider it a new mission. It will involve flying to Martius One, going to a party, and wearing a dress."

Dumbfounded, Shiho leaned on the wall beside her bed for support. _I'm in a crazy bad dream._

"Hey Shiho, still there?"

"Uh, yes. I…don't think I can do the dress part," she replied lamely.

"Oh, come now. Your father came from high society, I know that much. Surely you've been at an event or two during your lifetime."

For someone who was asking for a favor, he was very presumptuous, Shiho thought. "I'm sorry…Yzak, but I can't leave my current assignment. It would take a lot of paperwork to-"

"I'll take care of it if you agree to do what I ask."

Well, it was certainly something very important if he was willing to pull strings. "Give me the other details first."

"The party's in three Earth-days, a hotel room will be arranged for you, and a car will pick you up at an appointed time. I have other obligations on that day so I'll meet you at the party's location." He paused. "I wish I could tell you more, but I have a meeting to attend, so I won't say more than that for now."

"So once I'm at this party, what am I supposed to do?"

"Just be your normal, sensible self. So can I count on you to go?"

_Say no_, a little voice inside her head whispered. _It's not good for you to see him again. You'll start hoping for his attention. But you won't get it, and you'll end up crying. Why would you want to help him anyway? You don't owe him anything!_

Mentally she kicked herself before she hesitantly said, "Sure. I'll do it."

"You will? Good! Expect new orders to arrive at your station soon. Thanks. Bye." Then the line went dead.

Her rush of excitement was disrupted by that little voice again. _I bet you feel so special just because he called you and asked for your help, _it taunted. _Maybe he knew you couldn't refuse him. Maybe it's something dangerous. Did you ever think about that?_

What did she just DO?

Shiho stared at the mobile phone in her hand as though she had just committed something horrifying. _Maybe I should've hung up instead of answering. I should feel so cheap, chasing after a man like this. Just to see him again, I've gone so low._ She trembled at that thought and pulled the covers tighter around her. _If he told me to jump into the Earth's core right now, would I do it?_

Shiho suddenly noticed that Maxine was awake and watching her from across the room. Her eyes were still dimmed with sleep though.

"What was that about, Shiho? Are you all right?"

She kicked herself mentally again before saying, "Yes, I'm fine." She put her mobile phone down, and stepped onto the floor to pick up her clothes and dress quickly. "I received new orders."

* * *

A/N: _Weltschmerz _is a German word often translated as world-weariness or pessimism. _Fraulein_ used to be a German address for an unmarried woman, but its use is now considered derogatory. I used it in the text to show that Shiho was mocking herself. 


	2. Blitzkrieg

"We're here, Miss Hahnenfuß," the chauffeur announced.

"Here" was a well-manicured lawn, with shrubbery trimmed into round shapes. The place was obviously meant to be a lounge of sorts, with chairs and tables placed at intervals. It was already evening, and the shrubbery twinkled with fairy lights.

"Thank you." She took a deep breath, and stepped out of the limousine, quickly shutting the door behind her. The cool night air hit her legs, making her feel very naked, though she was far from being so.

The dossier containing her newest "mission" included a charge card and the instructions to spend as much as she liked, to prepare for the party. After arriving in Martius One, she'd scrambled through the shops, finally picking out a dark blue halter top dress, fitted at the waist and hips then flaring out to a full skirt that ended just at the knee. As a touch of extravagance, she picked a set of sapphire earrings and a necklace. At the salon, her brunette locks had been twisted into a bun.

Now tugging nervously at the fur wrap around her shoulders, she looked for an empty seat. Small lamps on the tables illuminated the faces of the people sitting around each. Some looked impatient. Some looked sleepy. Some would suddenly stand up, holding a mobile phone to an ear, dangling a cigarette from slim fingers. All of them were men and women in their finest clothes.

They were all the same to her, these fancy parties. Same twinkling lights. Same formal attire. Same haughty faces, pretending to be civil to one another. She'd had her fair share of this pretentiousness as a child in her father's house. _Why did I ever agree to this?_ she thought miserably.

"Whoa, Captain Hahnenfuß in a DRESS? The world must be coming to an end," a familiar voice joked.

She spun around in surprise, then laughed. "I see that your dry humor hasn't changed, Ensign Elthman." She smiled at the petite redhead who was holding on to Dearka's arm. "And you still can't leave the girls alone."

"This gorgeous lady is Zoey Randall. Zoey, this is Captain Shiho Hahnenfuß." The blond ZAFT pilot grinned. "The only girl on the Voltaire who wore pants."

"I think I should demote you for saying that, Dearka," Shiho teased as she shook Zoey's hand. "But since you're the only familiar face in this crowd, I won't."

"I only got invited here by my new commander. Ain't I a lucky man?" He put an arm around Zoey's waist. "Didn't think I'd see you here, Shiho. Haven't heard from you in a while. So who're you with?"

"Major-I mean-Yzak said he'd meet me here." She scanned the lounge uncertainly.

Dearka's eyebrows shot up. "Well, really? I'd like to see what his ugly mug looks like when he sees you in a dress. I mean, you look hot in a flight suit, but actually seeing your arms and legs is, well, wow!"

Shiho wondered if she ought to be embarrassed. "Hey, you shouldn't be flirting with me in front of your date," she half-scolded, but Zoey just giggled.

"She's right, Dearka," another voice interrupted. "Where are your manners?"

* * *

He'd been attending conferences ever since he landed on Martius One, and it was only in the car on the way to the fundraising party that he'd had time to question the wisdom of his actions. Was he right in asking Shiho for this favor? _Relax, Yzak, she was reliable on the battlefield and she'll be reliable at the party too._ Still, he shifted uneasily in his seat. _I hope she doesn't show up wearing pants._

They had agreed to meet at the garden fronting the ballroom, and the moment he alighted from his car he searched for her in the crowd.

It seemed that Dearka was at the party as well, with a girl already latching onto him, no surprise there. And that other girl he was talking to…. Yzak blinked twice. _Shiho! And she's actually in a dress!_ He almost smiled in relief. _She really blends in with the crowd here. I knew she wouldn't fail me._ Quickly he walked towards them, managing to catch a bit of their conversation.

"…you look hot in a flight suit, but actually seeing your arms and legs is, well, wow!"

Then she smiled.

Yzak's eyebrows shot up in surprise. _Now that's something new._ _I didn't think she even KNEW how to smile._

He heard her reply, "Hey, you shouldn't be flirting with me in front of your date."

Now he was just a few steps away from them. Clearing his throat, he said, "She's right, Dearka. Where are your manners?"

He could swear that Shiho almost jumped out of her fur wrap before she turned towards him.

Instantly recovering from her surprise, she raised him a mock salute. "Captain Hahnenfuß, reporting for duty." After a short laugh, she dropped her arm.

He moved to her side. "I apologize for making you wait."

"Wow, Shiho's in a dress AND you're actually late for once," Dearka remarked. "This is a practical joke, right?"

"I would threaten you with cleaning duty if you were still in my squad," the silver-haired Councilor replied blithely. Then he turned to Zoey. "And you are Miss-?"

"Zoey Randall," Zoey beamed, shaking Yzak's proffered hand.

"Miss Randall," he smiled politely. "A pleasure to meet you." Before Dearka could say anything, he added, "Well, Shiho and I have to run the gauntlet of the press people now, so we'll see you later." He turned to the brown-haired pilot and offered her his arm. "I hope you're ready."

She looked confused for a second before holding on to his elbow. "Ready when you are, sir. Bye Zoey, Dearka."

"I really appreciate your coming here. So how's your new assignment?" he asked as he led her through the garden to the foot of a flight of steps.

No response. She was looking back at the lounge.

"What's wrong? Don't tell me you're nervous." _On the lighter side_, he suddenly mused, _she has an elegant neck._

She shook her head from side to side, still looking at the lawn. "I just realized that Zoey looks like that girl Dearka used to keep a photo of. The one from the Archangel."

"Her name was Miriallia, I think." He was anxious to go to the ballroom.

"Yes, Miriallia. Zoey looks like a red-haired Miriallia."

Yzak shrugged. "I guess some people can't let go of a memory."

The girl holding his arm turned to face the stairs. "I guess so," she murmured softly. The sound of cameras clicking and flashbulbs diffusing tumbled down from the top of the steps. "Is that the paparazzi up there?"

He sighed theatrically. "Unfortunately, yes."

* * *

According to the dossier, Shiho was supposed to ensure Councilor Yzak Joule's safety during the PLANT Reconstruction fundraising party. It did not, however, mention anything about facing the press. She'd glanced back at where Dearka and his companion stood just to stall for a moment, only to find that they were gone. Then she'd had to make up some trite excuse when Yzak noticed her hesitation.

_Some people just can't let go of a memory._

_How true_, she thought bitterly as the cameras flashing from every direction hurt her eyes. _He owes me, big time._ She let him lead her through the carpeted path. Even her face was hurting from having to keep a polite smile for the photographers.

"Councilor Joule! Who IS this lovely lady on your arm?" demanded the reporters from behind the cordoned-off sides of the carpet.

"Just keep smiling," Yzak whispered to Shiho through his teeth. She could tell that he was getting tired of all the posing. "But remember not to answer any questions from these people."

She replied with the tiniest nod. If there was something she was good at, it was keeping quiet.

"What's going on, Shiho?" Yzak asked, offering her his arm again after they checked in their coats and her bag at the ballroom's entrance. "You look confused all of a sudden."

_I didn't know that he addressed people by their first names. _"Am I?" She looked up at the brightly lit ceiling, trying to look nonchalant. "I was just wondering, aren't you worried about what the tabloids will say about Councilor Joule suddenly appearing with a girl on his arm?"

"Oh, they can say whatever they want. I don't care about rumors, if it's you I'm seen with."

"Really?" She hoped she didn't sound TOO delighted.

"You see, if I went with someone I didn't know too well, that would be too awkward, and she might think it was a romantic gesture of sorts. But if it's you, well, we ARE friends, so you wouldn't give it too much meaning, right? Plus, I don't have to look out for your safety. And I can count on you to look out for me."

"Oh." Her stomach turned. _So that's how it is. Well, what was I hoping for anyway?_ He was waving to some colleagues across the room and didn't see her momentary look of disappointment. "A good tactic, I suppose."

"I think I see our table over there." He started towards the left side of the room.

She wanted to stop and pull away. She wanted to tell him that she couldn't stand being at this party for a moment more and that he'd have to look for someone else to be his bodyguard.

And still she let him guide her through the maze of large round tables. Above the murmur of the many guests, she could pick out a woman's voice accompanied by piano. Shiho knew the song; it was a very old song from the Earth.

_You give your hand to me and then you say hello  
And I can hardly speak, my heart is beating so  
And anyone can tell  
You think you know me well  
But you don't know me  
No, you don't know the one who dreams of you at night  
Who longs to kiss your lips, longs to hold you tight  
Oh, I am just a friend  
That's all I've ever been  
'Cause you don't know me…._

Her fingers reached up to rub her temple. _Of all the songs in the universe, THAT ONE had to play right now._ She and Yzak had reached an empty table beside a full-length window. She read the name cards that were arranged on the tablecloth. "My name isn't here."

Her former commander double-checked the name cards, looking mildly annoyed. "I'll be writing to the security office about their failure to inform the caterers about the change in name." He pointed to a chair beside his, which was apparently meant for someone named Eliane Benoit. "This is your seat." Deftly he pulled out the chair for her and she slid into it silently. Then he took his seat as well.

"It's a nice name. Eliane Benoit." She picked up the stiff, shiny piece of paper. _It's like an omen telling me I don't belong here._

Yzak huffed. "Some new pop star trying to be another Lacus Clyne."

"She was supposed to be here instead of me."

"Yes, but...." His eyes narrowed slightly. "…there were complications."

Before Shiho could ask what those complications were, they were greeted by two couples who also sat at their table. She guessed that they were young politicians too. Introductions were made, hers being the most unusual when she explained to them that no, she wasn't Eliane Benoit.

As serving staff arranged plates of food on their table, she heard the party host's voice boom across the entire ballroom. The evening's program was starting. She glanced at Yzak from the corner of her eye as she picked at her meal. He was listening intently to the guests speaking onstage about the reconstruction effort, and he occasionally jotted notes onto his mobile phone using a little stylus. Shiho held back a sigh. _Only he would turn an event like this into a workday. So much for catching up on old times._ She straightened up in her seat. _Speaking of work, I'm supposed to be on duty._ Carefully she scanned the room, looking for any signs of suspicious behavior. _This place is packed with entrepreneurs, high society, and politicians from the Martius colonies, so security is naturally tight._ Her gaze shifted to the doors. _Still, with this many people, and identity theft so easy to do nowadays, it would be very likely for troublemakers to sneak in if they wanted to._

"See someone you know?" a warm whisper tickled her ear.

She wished she hadn't turned around so quickly, because she almost bumped noses with Yzak.

And he had really, really blue eyes. Also, a well-shaped nose.

_Mein Gott._

After an awkward pause, she managed to mumble "Just checking the vicinity for anyone suspicious.…" _Mustn't stare at him._ She stared at the medal on the left side of his jacket. "…sir."

"I see." Seemingly satisfied with her answer, he nonchalantly returned his attention to the stage. "Well, carry on."

She pretended to look around the room again as some guest's speech ended and applause filled the room. _My face is all red, I just know it_._ At least I'm breathing normally._ She'd seen him up close many, many times before, but not THAT close! And he didn't look affected by that intimate contact at all. Her fingers fiddled with the tablecloth. _I wish I hadn't left my mobile phone in my purse._ If it were in her hands, she'd be typing an e-mail to Maxine, telling her that it was an awful party, Yzak was being impersonal, and that she had to get out of there before she made a bigger fool of herself.

But she wouldn't send the e-mail to Maxine anyway; she'd delete it as soon as she was done typing.

_Besides, I'm a soldier on a mission. I can't abandon ship just because things aren't going my way._ Shiho gritted her teeth and crumpled the tablecloth. _I'm a soldier. Not some ditzy schoolgirl trying to get some guy's attention._

"Miss Hahnenfuß, is something the matter?" the lady sitting across her asked.

"No, I'm fine," she replied brightly. She hoped she was getting better at lying. Then she noticed that Yzak was eyeing her with – was it suspicion?

He suddenly stood up and offered her his hand. "Well, come on."

As she grasped it, she raised both eyebrows at him.

In a matter-of-factly voice, he said, "The dance is starting."

* * *

He couldn't understand it at all. When they had entered the ballroom, Shiho had looked fine. Then as the evening progressed, she became…what was it? Impatient? Anxious? It couldn't be due to the mix-up with the name cards. She wasn't so shallow as to get upset over that.

Reprogramming a mobile suit OS was trivial, when compared to comprehending a woman's mind.

Did she sense a security threat in the room? He was determined to find out, discreetly of course. It was only when the others had left the table and entered the relative privacy of the dance floor that he said, "For someone who's usually calm, you look very agitated. See anyone in the room acting strange?"

"None, sir. None at all. It's strange." She kept looking past his shoulder. "I guess…I'm just waiting for something to happen."

_She's taking this assignment very seriously._ "I know you're keeping watch, but try to relax a little." He tried to make his tone mild. "This IS a party. And you're making me feel agitated too."

"Am I?" Shiho's head turned down to the floor, and her fingers stiffened in his grasp. "I'm sorry."

Normally, she would keep a straight face no matter what he said; now her expression so resembled that of a child who had just been severely scolded. He wondered if he had sounded too stern. As they turned around the dance floor in time with the music, he caught sight of Athrun Zala in a far corner, talking with a few redheaded girls. Yzak felt his temper rise. _What is HE doing here? He's just an interim councilor for December City!_

As the girls giggled at something Athrun said, Yzak's focus returned to Shiho. Her lashes were lowered, brushing against pale skin, hiding her eyes from his view. She was biting her lip, deep in thought. _What IS her problem?_

But she looked so hurt, and seemed to mentally distance herself from him; and he knew that if he spoke to her harshly, he would look and feel like an utter bastard.

Instead he found himself mumbling "Nice dress."

"Hmmm?" she prompted, still looking downward.

"Dearka said…you look nice in a dress. I agree with him."

"Oh." Her eyebrows knotted slightly. "I feel weird wearing it."

_Remind me not to give out compliments,_ he chagrined.

"But it's free," she shrugged, "so, thank you. For the dress, I mean. Sir."

To him it sounded more like a complaint than gratitude, but he said, "You're welcome to it. And stop calling me Sir. I have a name, you know."

"I'm sorry." She sounded like she was a million light-years away, though one of her hands held his, and his other arm was around her waist.

"And do stop apologizing."

"Yes Sir – I mean – um…." Her cheeks flushed.

Then shaking her head, she suddenly laughed, and looked up at him with shining purple eyes.

_There you are._ Yzak couldn't keep himself from smiling.

"You got me." Shiho laughed again.

He felt her fingers relax. "That's better." They changed direction again. "So you CAN smile after all," he teased.

One of her eyebrows jumped up. "That's a bit much, coming from the person who was shouting orders on the Voltaire all the time."

"Was I that cruel?"

"Well…." She looked up at the ceiling for a moment. "Not really."

Then the music faded into a slower tune. Some of the couples left the dance floor; others stayed and held their partners closer. And for once, Yzak didn't know what to do.

Shiho looked around uncertainly. "Umm, Yzak?"

"Yes?"

"Mind if we go back now?" She smiled in apology. "My feet are killing me."

The oddest thing was, he would rather stay right there and keep dancing with her. Reluctantly he guided her back to their table, but kept her hand in his as they walked. _Why do I feel so…contented? I'm not used to this feeling._

"Councilor Joule!" a male voice boomed. Yzak felt a hand slap his shoulder. The voice belonged to a heavy, buck-toothed man who sidled up to him.

"Mayor Pierre," he greeted, smiling through his teeth.

The mayor laughed heartily. "Glad to see you're here – and with a lady!" Shiho nodded quietly. "So, Yzak – I may call you Yzak, right? I was wondering if you had a minute? It's about the reconstruction budget."

_What horrible timing._ He turned to Shiho.

"It's all right," she said softly, before he could begin to speak. "I can find our table from here."

"Well, jolly good!" Mayor Pierre beamed. Yzak felt Shiho's fingers pulling away. _I don't know what's happening to me, but…._ He squeezed her hand lightly before letting go. She gave a surprised smile, then disappeared into the crowd.

* * *

She felt giddy, like she'd drunk too much wine. _It was so…strange, in a good way,_ she thought as she navigated through people and tables to go back to her seat. She glanced down at her hand and smiled. Her fingers were tingling_. I want to hope…for something good to happen._

"Whoops!"

Shiho barely missed bumping into Dearka. "Hey."

"Hey, Captain." He grinned and held up the stemmed glasses he was holding. "Zoey wanted some punch." His eyes darted around the room. "Where's Yzak? I saw you two dancing earlier."

"Oh, talking with some Martius official," she replied, as casually as she could, though she couldn't stop smiling. Then she spotted a serving-man moving quickly through the tables. _That's weird. I thought they weren't serving coffee until later._

"I still can't figure out how the two of you got together without me knowing," Dearka was saying, as her eyes followed the serving-man. Several people were raising their voices angrily.

"We're not like that-" she hastily replied. He was pushing aside some guests! And running towards – Mayor Pierre.

_Yzak._

Then she was chasing after the suspicious man.

"Shiho?" Dearka called after her.

The room turned noisy. _He's running with his right arm straight down…. A gun?_

"STOP!" she shouted as loudly as she could. "STOP THAT MAN!"

The man was aiming….

"EVERYONE GET DOWN!!!" she screamed as she lunged at the assassin.

There was a single gunshot, followed by screams.

* * *

When the shrieks had faded, Yzak dared to look up.

Just a moment ago, Mayor Pierre was trying to convince him to increase the reconstruction budget for Martius Ten, and boring him in the process. Then he heard a commotion behind him, and from the farthest corner of his eye, saw an armed man clearly aiming at him.

Now they were both crouched down, as were several people in the room. Apparently he had managed to grab the mayor and push both their selves onto the floor. Yzak realized that he was breathing quickly. _For once, I'm grateful for those years of military training._

Above the bustle of people rushing to exit the ballroom, he heard a female voice shout "Get the security here now!"

_Shiho?_ He sat up and his eyes swept the room for any sign of her. Some of the guests, already recovering from shock, were hurrying to the exits.

Just a few meters from where he sat, she was sprawled over the back of a serving-man, her hands bending both of his arms backwards and gripping them in place. The man was wincing in pain, occasionally cursing. Then the security team surrounded them, obscuring Shiho from his view.

"What in blazes is going on?" Mayor Pierre muttered, also sitting up.

"Anyone hurt?" It was Athrun standing behind them.

"We're fine-" Yzak replied sharply. But the mayor suddenly clutched at his chest.

"I think…I need to sit for a bit," Mayor Pierre groaned.

"There's a medical team stationed near the kitchen. I'll take him there." Athrun hoisted the mayor to his feet. "If you're fine, Yzak, could you check the exits, see if anybody's injured? There was a bit of a stampede."

"Don't order me around," Yzak huffed, standing up and going in Shiho's direction. She was gripping the arm of one of the security officers as she limped towards a chair. He ran to her side. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head at him though she was breathing hard. "It's fine, probably a sprain." Shiho turned to the security officer. "I'd like some ice, please. I think there's some in the kitchen."

"Yes ma'am, right away."

Shiho leaned against her chair, her hands folded on her lap, trying to relax her breathing. Purple eyes looked up at Yzak. "Are you all right?"

_She's quite placid, considering what just happened._ He tried to grin. "I'm alive, more or less."

She nodded. "That's good. That man who tried to…the police will be taking him into custody." She looked down at her feet. "I think I'll take my shoe off. My right ankle seems to be swelling." She started to reach for her shoe strap.

"I'll do that." Yzak Joule, PLANT councilor, knelt before Shiho's seat and carefully removed her high-heeled sandal. "Your ankle looks discolored," he frowned. "You need to see a doctor."

"I will." Shiho gave a quick laugh. "Don't frown over my ankle so much. You're scaring it." Just then the security officer returned with a blue cold pack and some bandages. "Thanks-"she started, but Yzak was already taking the medical supplies.

"I'll take care of her," he said to the officer in his most commanding tone. "Go check on the others." Immediately the officer saluted and left. He started to bind the cold pack to Shiho's ankle, when she waved her hands at him in refusal.

"I can do that, you know," she protested.

"Let me do this, all right?" He gave her a determined stare before returning to the task at hand. "You saved my life," he continued in a softer tone as he finished knotting the bandages. "I owe you."

She smiled gently. "That's why you asked me to come here. To look out for you."

Yzak was about to reply when Dearka ran up to them. "You'd better leave now. I got word from the chief officer that a bunch of journalists are trying to break into this place. The security team is still trying to hold them off. I expect that they'll try to corner our heroine of the moment here." Dearka thrust out his chin at Shiho at the word "here". Then he pointed to the kitchen. "There's a narrow passageway through there. It leads to the southern parking lot. You should be able to make it out through there-"

Loud shouts outside the ballroom cut Dearka's next words off, and the droning sound of a crowd of aggressive journalists grew closer and closer.

"Get out of here NOW!" he yelled at Yzak and Shiho, while running towards the source of the commotion.

"What about you?" they asked in unison.

"I'm helping the security team! And I have to find Zoey! Now go!" Then Dearka headed off to the ballroom's outer gates.

Shiho struggled to stand – but Yzak quickly scooped her up into his arms.

"You're not running with that ankle of yours," he said sternly as he carried her through the kitchen. He could hear angry voices from the ballroom they just left. He noticed that she had become quiet, and looked bewildered and worried. "My car's parked in the southern lot," he explained in an effort to reassure her.

The passageway ended in a door. "That man must have gone in through here," Shiho mumbled.

"He could have," Yzak acknowledged as he bore her out into the parking lot. The quiet darkness and the scattered plant pots screamed silently of the guests' mad rush to flee the venue. Only a few cars were left, and he had no trouble spotting his. Teetering slightly, he pressed his thumb over the biometric lock on the front passenger seat. The door beeped in recognition and slid open quickly. "In you go," he said as he gingerly placed Shiho in the car. Then he rushed to the driver's side door, pressed his thumb to open the lock, and jumped into the seat.

"The hotel I'm staying in is - " Shiho volunteered tentatively.

"We're not going there." Yzak fumbled with his seatbelt. "Whoever tried to take Mayor Pierre or me down had put some thought into it. Possibly worked with a group. And you just ruined their plan. They could hunt you down just for that." He reached over to her seat, checking if her seatbelt was secure. "And with your injury, you're a sitting duck."

"So where should I go?" she said softly, almost to herself, as the car's engine revved to life.

"I know a safe place." Without explaining further, Yzak drove the car screeching out of the southern gate. No one was manning the gate's security checkpoint. Apparently the guests, fearing for their lives, had smashed the vehicle-scanning machine in their hast to leave. It was left a smoking pile of scrap metal and blinking lights.

* * *

Large raindrops pelted the car's windshield as they drove down a dark, curvy road. Yzak made an agitated sound before flicking a switch on the dashboard. Shiho heard a slight buzzing from the glass, and saw the drops of water disappear as soon as they touched the surface.  
She wondered if she ought to say something to break the eerie silence, as Yzak was absorbed in navigating the turns in the road.

"I-" Yzak kept his eyes on the headlights."I had no idea you would get caught up in something like this."

She shook her head. "No, it's fine. It's what I came here for, right? To guard you."

"My people never expected that attack. Well, I'm assuming I was the target." He spoke distractedly as he drove on the wet road. "You were only supposed to SHOW UP with me, pose for some pictures, that's all-" Then Yzak bit his lip, as though he'd said too much.

A flash of lightning briefly illuminated Shiho's now-pale face.

"What do you mean by that?" Her stomach felt like it were about to collapse. "I was just supposed to be there? But what about that 'ensure your safety' mission in the dossier?"

Yzak Joule, PLANT Councilor, shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "That was…sort of…prefabricated, but I'm really grateful for your heroism-"

"Don't stray from the question, MAJOR!"

"My publicists thought I should show up with a…female companion. It was THEIR idea, not mine."

After a moment of stunned silence, Shiho found her voice. "_Mein Gott._ I put myself in the line of fire for you." She looked out at the darkness beyond the rain-stained window. "And all this time, I was just some sort of-" she gave a disgusted snort "-glorified escort."

"It's not like that," Yzak cut in.

_Then what is it like? _"Stop the car," Shiho said coldly.

"What? Now?"

"Yes now! Stop the car, damn it!"

The tires screeched to a halt.

"And unlock the door." Her voice was giving away the fact that she was trying very hard not to cry.  
He pushed a button on the dashboard and the passenger seat's door clicked.  
With some effort, Shiho slid the door open and hobbled out. It was still raining hard. The cold water soaked her hair and her dress. She started moving away from the car at an awkward gait.

"And where do you think you're going with that injury?" Yzak yelled after her. Shiho ignored him. Her ankle hurt. Her chest hurt. Why wouldn't it stop raininig?  
Suddenly he was standing in front of her.

"Look, I know you hate my guts right now, but we're in the middle of a country road, in the dark, and it's raining." He sighed helplessly. "So, please, if you could just stick with me until we get to a safe place. You can do whatever you want after that." He flicked his damp hair out of his eyes. "Do you really want to wander out here by yourself, Shiho?"

Shiho huffed, and looked out at the road, unwilling to face the person she wanted to be farthest away from. There seemed to be no lights for miles and miles. He was right. She didn't have a choice.

She began to cry.

* * *

Song lyrics are from "You Don't Know Me", written by Cindy Walker and Eddy Arnold.


End file.
